What did you want to be when you were a child?

As a child i was such a ray of sunshine. I had cute lil dreams and big aspirations, aspirations as big as my smile. Then I grew up.

it's almost like as a kid u see everything in colour but once u grow older, u see less colours, the colours get darker and duller and everything starts to feel and look the same. it's like hope for everything is starting to leave ur body and u start to become more immune to more fucked up shit bcos its part of the "adulting" process.

Albert Einstein once said “Logic will get you from point A to B . Imagination will take you everywhere."

But is imagination even that good though?

It's like false hope. Think of imagination as dreams. U dream about things like Unicorns and happily ever afters where everything works out in your favour; but that's not life. Like is all about the unexpected, unplanned shit that happens. Like having an unplanned baby or not getting into a school u were more than capable with getting into, or like falling for someone u were not planning to fall for. I was actually talking about this yesterday, where i said that i feel like i can work better without emotions. Like a robot. More efficient and all. It's so much easier to function without emotions.

Anyways, back to topic at hand, as a child i thought i could any and everything, i was concerned about how much fun i would have, what i am good at, (since im like kind of an extrovert) i was also concerned about how many people i can meet and make friends with at work. I thought it would be fun to be a cashier or make pizzas or a song writer (yes baby fiah had enough brain cells to know she couldn't sing so she would just find or make fire beats and write songs for some cool ass people). But now i seriously have no damn ambition, no drive. Maybe it's just a seasonal thing like my weird sad episodes. (for a period of time i just have no motivation to do anything, not even the shit i actually like to do, and i just want to sleep the day away lah basically) But yea, right now, i'm just gon take what i can get. I have no more dream or ambition. I hope to land a degree and i'll look at my career choices from there. I hope the rest of y'all aren't like me lol, floating arnd like this truly sucks. People say they want to go back in time to warn their younger self, or like give them some good advice, but for me, i want my younger self to travel into the future (which is now) and play some wooden blocks with me and tlk about all her hope and dreams which may inspire me again.